How Destiel Came to Be
by destiel'sgirl9
Summary: The unspoken love of Castiel and Dean turns when Cas' vessel dies. When Castiel's new vessel appears, it has made Dean's yearning become unleashed.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

CPOV

As I tuck in my collar of my regular dress shirt I stare at Dean, looking around to see if Sam was in the room. To my relief, Sam was in the bathroom doing god knows what in there; it has been about ten minutes since he walked in there. Dean was getting dressed so all he was in was a tank-top and his tight jeans,his tattoo almost visible through his cotton thin undershirt just enough exposer to make me feel a little uncomfortable. My eyes raked his face, admiring his chiseled jaw; to his neck that held the amulet, to his exposed muscles and where my hand print was forever pressed in his skin. I liked that, that he would have my mark on him, forever carrying a sign that I had touched him. When he finally looks up, it was a confused glance turning into a charismatic grin and wink. He chuckled lightly to himself and shook his head, as if trying to get something out of his head. I turned my head and bit my lip, feeling embarrassed that I got caught and fiddled with the cuffs of my jacket. I shouldn't be so attached to this being, but something draws me to him but then an invisible wall smacks us when we are almost there. I cleared my throat awkwardly, shook out my hair needing something to distract me. Dean would not, could not, feel that way that I feel about him. He is just naturally flirty; I've seen him do it to a thousand girls. Thinking about all those girls Dean toyed with; I reached for my tie and went to the mirror next to the bathroom door, looking at Dean through the glass. Even if he did feel the same, my vessel was male and he was looking for a female so I couldn't be compatible. I sighed and buttoned some of the buttons on my trench coat, waiting for everyone else to finish getting ready and for Sam to get his ass out of the bathroom; we had a job to do.

DPOV

When Sam left for the bathroom, I felt a little bit more relieved when his presence was gone. I just told him to take a shower and I guess he is doing a thorough job with it. Stretching a little bit, my mind replayed the dream I had last night. I was kissing a stranger, but it didn't feel like a stranger at all. I slid into my tank top and jeans in a blur, looking into the full length mirror at Cas. He was angelic and graceful, but seemed today a little uncoordinated and gangly. I looked away to try to find my shirt lying on the bed. I then felt a warm vibrating in my arm where the imprint was. CAS, it had to be him. I looked up in slight confusion and then turned into a smile when I saw his face. He was beautiful, and blushed when I winked at him. I then realized what I was doing and laughed a little, looking at my unlaced boots. Oh I liked him too much, and me doing this to him was just uncalled for. I should tell him, I was so close those last few times. I shook the idea out of my mind, Cas didn't like me, he was just being Castile. An angel that didn't know personal space, an angel that didn't understand porn, an angel that covered my mouth to save my life. He was my family, not a play thing for my amusement and pleasure. I really like him, but he was put into a male body and if not for that, I wouldn't be scared to tell my feelings for him. I just wish I didn't care what people think, that I wasn't cowardly when the thought of telling Cas about my feelings, but I can't do that right now. I looked into the mirror to see him buttoning his favorite and only coat, good lord that coat gone through everything. Sighing, I grabbed one of my many layers and slid my arms into the shirt; thinking about the stranger didn't feel so strange to me. It might be a sign, or maybe a warning for the future. I just guess we'll wait and see. God damn it, what the hell is Sam doing in there?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

CPOV

When Sam finally got out of the shower, he looked spent. Dean groaned and punched him in the arm, and then made an obscene jester with his hands. "Dude, you have to get laid", he said in his lovey, husky voice joking his little brother. I chuckled a little and finished tying my tie in a Winsor knot. "Put some clothes on Sam, come on we have a job to do", I said a little gentler than Dean, motioning Sam to his bed that had several pairs of outfits to wear. Dean was a little hard on Sam, but I would try to soften the blow. I guess I was supposed to be put into a female vessel but others decided otherwise. I always felt a motherly instinct for Sam, but again I'm not a woman. I wish that I could change that, but I am assigned this human vessel. So after it took forever for Sam to get ready, we all went in Dean's car. He blasted rock from the stereo and I rolled my eyes telling him about blowing my brains out with this shrieking guitar part. He chuckled a little and turned into an abandoned auto-repair shop.

"Cass. CAS", Dean screamed shaking me "Come on, don't give up. I can save you". I was weak; my human vessel was shutting down. I smiled a little bit; he was going to be with me for this. "No, no, no. Sam, its Cass", he whispered a little bit and Sam knelt next to Dean and me. "There's nothing you can do guys. It's ok, just be with me", my voice hurt but I had to tell them "I love you guys, you're my family". I hugged them weakly and sunk into them, taking my final breath in this body, having my two favorite people holding me. I soon afterward left my body to go back to those reprimanding angels; I bet I was going to get an ear-full. And boy was I right.

DPOV

No. No. No. Cas cannot leave us, me. He was still on the ground, his body contorted in pain. I ran to him and sat down next to him, grabbing his shoulders. "Cas. CAS", I yelled trying to wake him "Come on, don't give up. I can save you". I wanted to sob, but I couldn't let him hear me. I love him, I love him so much. He cannot leave me or Sam. He was getting colder and I got more frightened. "Sam, its Cas", I said slowly not sure what to do. Cas peaked a little at me, having a little glaze over his eyes. Sam came next to me and had an expression of bewilderment and hurt, He loved Cas as a brother and he was short-of like a mother to him. "There's nothing you can do guys. It's ok, just be with me", Castiel's voice was hoarse "I love you guys, you're my family". I held in my cries as he pulled us into a weak hug and sunk into our shoulders. We just heard him breathe an even breath and became dead weight on us. When I realized he had left, I let out my sobs and hugged my brother that was surprised to see me show emotion. "I loved him", I said quietly looking at his peaceful face. "I had suspicion, I mean the way you guys used to look at each other", Sam said not looking at me. I just nodded and then took Castiel off us, folding his arms across his chest. It look like he was sleeping, and I swept his hair off his forehead kissing it afterward.

We had a sad excuse for a funeral for him. We just had grave diggers, me, and Sam present. But I just had a few flowers and my love. Sam and I held all off crying until we were at the motel. But we stopped at a café just to get coffee and some food, we still had to eat. It was a fifty's cheesy theme, just that made me sick to my stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

CPOV

All hell broke loose in the place of god. I was primped and picked on, being told all my wrong doings. Naomi was probably the worst out of everyone, because all she did was smile the entire time with that little I-know-something-you-don't look. I did not trust her; she almost got me to kill Dean. I shook my head at the mention of his name, Dean. I left him and his brother all alone. Oh god, no, no, no. "Stop", I screamed to the angels as my head spun the room. They all quieted at my sudden shriek and their bulging eyes were on me. "I love him", I sighed in exasperation "We all do things for love. I am his guardian angel, and that is what I have been doing. Was I doing the wrong thing at some points? Yes! But stop yelling at me for doing what I was assigned". I inhaled from my long speech and looked at the crowd of bewildered angles. Naomi cleared her throat and all attention was on her. "I will help you Castiel. I wronged you in the past but I know what can help". My first reaction was to step away from her, she tried killing Dean and now she wants me to be with him. I then thought of Dean, he had probably pulled it together and was comforting Sam when they had to prepare my old body. Then I thought of Sam, he probably cried when I passed because I was somewhat a mother to him. I looked into Naomi's eyes to see nothing but happiness and excitement. "How", I asked in suspicion "My body is gone". She laughed a little and grabbed my hand. "Oh you'll see Castiel".Naomi then told me of the body of Castiellan Mark, a girl that has been in a coma for a week and a half and her soul has already passed on. She's 27, a waitress at a 1950's café, blond, blue eyes, 5'2", hour-glass figure, and was once a dancer. Sounds like someone Dean would hook up with just with the description, and I smiled. With all that she kissed my cheek and I was out cold./

"How can I help you guys", I asked sweetly opening my ticket-book to take their orders. A couple in their late 50's smiled at me, and unlaced each other's hands to read out their orders from the menu. After a few options about different sides and foods I took their menus and went back to the kitchen to give the order to the cook. I just learned how to do this thing, and I tell you if "I" wasn't in a coma they would fire me Johnny-on-the-spot. Taking off my shoe and rubbing my foot I looked at the crowd, we weren't busy today so all the customers I had was the couple and an old man finishing his slice of pie. My blue and white checkered dress/uniform was ironed and starched and my lips where a dull ruby from talking so much. I washed my hands and then went to get the check for the man. He was a little pervy, but I got a 25 dollar tip on a 5 dollar meal so flirting a little with customers help. I checked for the meals for the kind couple and took the tray to their table. "For the sir, Stake burger with a side of onions, and for the lady a salad with tomatoes and cearse dressing", I said proudly as they smiled at my presentation. The other waitress scoffed to herself, I got more tips than her and she knew it. She looked at me bitterly and smiled with menace. "And again you get the good tables Cast", she sighed and crossed her arms "Two guys at table 2". I turned around and peaked at the table, and sure enough it was what I was afraid of. Sam and Dean slid into a booth on the far left corner, one of my tables. I took an angsty breath and my hands shook, I couldn't see them so soon. But I had to see the boys I love; it has been too long since….it happened. I pressed my dress and apron down and walked slowly toward Sam and Dean. Let's just see where this will go.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

CPOV

Sam and Dean didn't look like the happy teasing men I knew; these people were more sullen and tense. They were wearing black from head to toe and it looked like they hadn't slept in days, their eyes puffy as if they had been crying if you get closer. "Hi, my name is Castellan and I'll be your waitress today", I said a little bit cheery but not like I usually do, it seemed like they didn't want it "Can I start you all off with drinks". They just both looked at the menus and Sam looked at Dean clearing his throat. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but all we are looking for is coffee", Dean's voice was ragged and dull as if he hadn't spoken for days. I looked around to see if anyone was watching and then I sat down next to them, surprising them. "Are you guys really alright", I asked I was worried about my boys and the way they talked wasn't helping "maybe I could do something to help". Dean's eyes simmered with lust and sadness, but Sam was the one who spoke. "That is really kind Cas-Castellan but don't you have a job to do", he asked gesturing at the couple. I held my pointer finger up and went to check on the couple, the man was disgusting the way he ate the burger and the lady was grossed out. I cleared my throat from bile and asked them if they wanted dessert. The lady jumped for the check and I winked at her, I would want to be out of there too. I quickly got the check for them and they left with a 10 dollar tip on a 10 dollar meal, at least they tipped. I then grabbed the coffees and a stool and placed it at the head of the table. "Here's your coffee, now talk", I said to them tightening my pony-tail. They cleared their throat and looked at each other, and then I realized my cascade of being just a city girl crack.

DPOV

When I heard the shoes of the waitress come closer toward us, I inhaled deeply. All we want is coffee, don't ask us anything else. When I heard her feet come to a stop I could smell her perfume, vanilla I think. I tried to make me look like I hadn't been crying and waited for her to speak. . "Hi, my name is Castellan and I'll be your waitress today", her voice was a little cheery, but it felt like she was holding back for us "Can I start you all off with drinks". Sam and I looked at the menus in dread, all we've done is cry for the past two days, and Sam cleared his throat. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but all we are looking for is coffee", I said my voice cracked and hurt as I looked up at her. When I looked at her, the thought was piercing and beautiful. Her eyes were piercing blue, her hair was light gold and wavy, in that dress you could slightly make out her hour-glass figure. She looked around to see if anyone was watching and then sat down next to Sam and me, surprising us. "Are you guys really alright", her voice was in genuine concern "maybe I could do something to help". Even though I was so sad for my lost love, I thought of ways she could help me out. "That is really kind Cas-Castellan but don't you have a job to do", he asked gesturing at the couple, he was angry at himself for mixing up the names. She help up her finger telling us to wait and continued to do her job. Sam kicked me under the table with force, causing pain to shoot up into my leg. I looked at him in surprise and he was scowling at me. "No Dean", his voice was angry "think about Cas, you loved him Dean. It's not right to do that". "Here's your coffee, now talk", she said to us tightening her pony-tail. We cleared our throats, awkwardly hoping that she didn't hear our conversation about me not hooking up with her. She looked worried and anxious; so maybe she did hear something or just a little of everything.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

CPOV

I tried playing it cool and slid the coffees to them. "Don't worry about holding me up; you guys are my last customers", I said confidently and leaned back in the chair looking at Sam and Dean's posture. They were a little stiff but slumped in the booth. "Are you guys truly ok", I asked wanting to reach out and grasp their hands. "We um", Sam said blinking away a tear and clearing his throat "We just left a funeral". My eyes bulged; they had a funeral for my old body. "Oh, oh my god", I said in shock "I am so sorry for your loss". I really was sorry I left them in pain, but I couldn't stay. "I….we loved him", Dean stumbled on his words but I could make out what I wanted to hear. He loves me! "Stay here guys", I said walking to the cook, to give the order. When I came back to them I had two apple cobblers in hand. I placed them in front of the guys and smiled. "Don't worry, it's on the house. If there's anymore I can do just tell me". I walked away and smiled at myself. "Oh miss", Dean said and I turned around happily. "Can we have the check please", he asked in a charismatic voice and a wink. I giggled and went to get the check for them. The other waitress, Stacy, snarled at me and I winked at her, I don't give what the bitch thinks. I got the check and slowly walked back to table 2, my hips moving with my steps. "Here yah' go fellas", I placed the check in the middle of them and made my rounds. I walked to Stacy and smiled at her. "After this you have the rest, I'm going home", I said checking my watch "My shift ends". She gave me a delightful jester and I got the check from them, but they had left. 40$! They left me 40 fucking dollars. There was a note that said meet me at the back alley, and I can guess who it is from.

DPOV

She slid the coffees nonchalantly to us. "Don't worry about holding me up; you guys are my last customers", she said and leaned back in her chair studying us "Are you guys truly ok". No, no we aren't my best friend and love of my life died. "We um", Sam said blinking away a tear and clearing his throat "We just left a funeral". Her eyes bulged at the news as she tried to find something to say. "Oh, oh my god", she said in shock "I am so sorry for your loss". Of course you are. "I….we loved him", I said processing my words. I just said that out loud didn't I?! She didn't react at all, except for a small smile. "Stay here guys", she said as she left us. I followed her with my eyes until she disappeared in the back. "Who does she remind you of", Sam asked befuddled also watching her, and I shook my head. She then came back to my surprise with dessert. "Don't worry, it's on the house. If there's any more I can do just tell me", she turned around happily and walked away. Oh miss", I said and she turned around happily. "Can we have the check please", I asked and winked at her. She giggled and then went to get the check for them. When she came back with the check she had a little bit more confidence in her. "Here yah' go fellas", she said and swaggered back to wherever she disappeared to. I threw forty dollars on the table and scribbled a note on a piece of scrap paper. "I'm going to do it Sam. I'll call you when I finished", my voice was confident even though Sam was scowling at me. "Just be gentle with her, I sense that she has been through a lot", he said as he picked up his jacket and my car keys. I nodded and put on my jacket, shoving my hands in its pockets. I went out to the back alley and waited to see what would happen.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

CPOV

Oh god. Dean wants me in the back alley! I was so excited and nervous I felt as if my legs had ten pound weights on them as I went to the locker room. I took down my hair and let my side bangs hang over my left eye, smiling at the mirror. I took of that crappy dress and dressed in my over-the-shoulder shirt and tight jeans. I also slid my slouch high-heeled boots on and I looked at the full length mirror. I looked hot in my new body. I hung up my dress and sauntered off to the back doors. There pacing was Dean, he looked beautiful in his messy hair that I guess he was tugging on. He looked up at me and smiled. He cleared his throat and looked me up and down. I swaggered next to him, spotting the height difference between us. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, it feeling natural and exciting, and went on toes to reach his lips. We leaned in at the same time and to my surprise he was gentle, a spark was ignited between us and I pressed more into his lips. We moaned in each other's lips and he turned us around so I was pressed against the wall. The kiss got more heated and I jumped so I wouldn't have to be continuously being on my toes. He caught me squeezing my upper thighs in reply. He pressed me harder against the wall, and I started feeling Dean's hard-on pressing against my thigh. "Stop! Please", I whimpered and he then unwrapped my legs from his waist. "What-what's wrong", he asked and he stared into my eyes. I squeezed his hands and I cleared my throat. "You-you lost someone that you loved dearly. You need to see that person again", I spoke clearly and I could tell the sadness was more profound in his eyes "Go home and you will see that person again". He looked confused but nodded, leaving me in a mess. I bonked my head on the brick wall and thought of a plan to tell Dean.

DPOV

I started to pace, tugging my hair as I went. I was at war with myself, do…things to this girl or don't. _"Think about Cas, you loved him Dean. It's not right to do that",_ echoed in my head. I also know Cas would want me to heal in any way I could. The sounds of high heels tapping closer to me made me look up; there she was her beauty almost inhuman. A lump in my throat was stuck by looking at her, clearing my throat from discomfort. I looked at her fully for the first time; her lips were a bright ruby, her slender button nose, her hair was layered and wavy hiding just a little of her left eye, her stylish yet rugged clothes and shoes. Come on Dean, you can do this. She walked slowly next to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, the slight touch felt warm and familiar. She changed her height to get closer to my lips, and we leaned in to each other. Be gentle Dean, remember what Sam said. But it was damn hard because right as our lips met, because heat and lust was emitted and Castiella pressed more into me. We moaned at the same time and I lost control, turning and pressing her against the wall. It soon turned into a make out session, her jumping up to straddle my waist. I squeezed her thighs as I caught her, pressing her more against the wall and my aroused state got the best of me. My hard-on was straining and pressed against her thigh. "Stop! Please", she whimpered, scaring me from the sudden outburst. I unwrapped her legs from my waist immediately became insanely worried. "What-what's wrong", I asked and I stared into her deep blue eyes, searching for emotion. She squeezed my hand. "You-you lost someone that you loved dearly. You need to see that person again", she spoke clearly "Go home and you'll see that person again". I felt confused but nodded, leaving immediately. She was too right.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

CPOV

I took a breath and "flew" to my apartment to get ready. Since I was a waitress, I didn't have the best paying job ever, so my apartment wasn't the best in the world. I had a roommate, Bree, who I had learned is my best friend and party animal. I popped into my room and paced back and forth, contemplating what to do. Should I just leave Bree to go to Dean or talk to her? I threw on a beanie to hide my hair and rearrange my hair to look like a man's. My trench coat, oh god where is my coat?! The Castiel they know wears a trench coat... but also he was a guy. I bit my nails and looked around, thinking of what to do. Naomi, help me please. I flopped on my bed and felt a scratchy material on my smooth comforter, no way! I jumped up and looked down, my one true coat. Oh Naomi, she did it! I slipped into my coat and looked into the mirror; I looked a little more like me. I took off my red lips and smiled, remembering the time when Bree taught me to put it on. The "just got out of a coma" thing has been working out for me, I learned how this vessel lived. I decided to just to put on chap-stick, looking myself in the eyes. I was good for now. I got out a notepad and wrote out a short explanation of what was happening so she wouldn't file for missing persons. I sighed and took out my keys, leaving them on the kitchen counter next to the note. I felt slightly bad for doing this to my new/old friend, but I knew that I was sent into this vessel to be with Sam and Dean. I looked around the apartment for the last time and disappeared from the place. I was transported on the outskirts of the hotel they were staying in, allowing me to think. What if he doesn't believe me or if he doesn't want me since I left him once. It was raining and a rumble of thunder came, lighting. I smiled and walked to the door.

DPOV

_Cas, Cas, Cas, _My brain could only think of him and only him. I called Sam and he answered on the last ring. "He-hello", He panted and gulped a little. I chuckled a little and shook my head, the bastard is either jerking off or getting laid. "Dude, whatever you are doing stop. Cas is coming home", I fiddled slightly with the amulet "Pick me up". He laughed and I could picture his hand running through his hair. "Wait what?!So what happened with that chick", he asked and I could hear the sound of the zipper. I sighed and felt the buzz on my lips, where her's have been. "You were right, there's… something about her", I said leaning against the wall. "Well, did you have fun", he asked and I laughed. Not that much. "We didn't do it Sammy; I kept on hearing your damn voice in my ear, now fucking pick me up". I closed my phone shut and waited. He came quiet quickly to my surprise, and I slid in running a hand through my hair. Sam looked at me with that stupid grin. "Dean Winchester, THE Dean Winchester, has gone soft", he announced and I punched him. "Shut up and drive". He laughed a little and turned on the ignition.

"I AM NOT FUCKING SOFT", I declared pacing around the room. Sam just rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. I was on my third and Sammy was slowly working on his second. I sat down in a chair and heard the soft sound of rain. Cas wasn't here yet, maybe there was something wrong with that waitress. There was thunder, and I thought about how Cas and I met. Cas, I miss him so much, I would give anything to see him. I felt an odd feeling, like there was someone at the door. "Sammy, get the salt".Sam jumped into action and dug into his bag. We were frantic and when we salted everything, I threw myself back in the chair to calm myself. And then it came as a crack of lightning struck.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

CPOV

I opened the door as lightning stuck. The lights flew out and my wings were trying to escape. I arched my back and extended my head, this vessel wasn't quiet used to this, and it was useless but a very dramatic start. "Ca- CAS", Dean chocked out and dropped his beer. Sam stood up from the bed in shock and shook his head lightly, as if in a daze. My wings slowly faded back into my body and the lights came back on. I grinned and pulled the cap off my head. "Hello boys", I spoke slowly and sauntered over to where Dean was sitting. Half-way through I took off my trench-coat, dropping it haphazardly on the floor. I looked at Sam then Dean in the eyes, "You guys missed me". Sam and Dean both looked surprised and confused at the same time, making me either laugh or cry. "Listen Sammy, I'll have a reunion with you after I… talk to Dean", I said lightly "Go find a girl for a little while". He didn't wander at all, he just nodded and fled as fast as he could, leaving me and Dean alone. He left the door open and I snapped my fingers, shutting and locking the door at the same time, smirking to myself. "Dean", I said and slowly straddled him in the chair, a hint of ecstasy in my voice. His eyes flickered with confusion, then lust, then skepticism, and then lust again. I laughed and settled into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. He was frozen and I leaned into his neck. "It was always me Dean", I whispered into his ear and my thumbs trailed the line of hairs on his neck. His eyes widened and our lips crashed together, letting go of everything. I grinded my hips against his, causing amazing amounts of pleasure to shoot through my veins. I broke the kiss and hissed. "Whoa there boy, that was just round one".

DPOV

The door busted open, slightly scaring both of us, and the lightning struck. There were no flickering lights, the just burned out suddenly making the crackling lightning our only source. It can't come in, we have salt. Whatever the thing was arched as if it has been exercised, it's long black wings shooting out of the spine. I finally realized the figure, a trench coated figure with short hair, was it…. "Ca-CAS", I choked out dropping my beer and not hearing it break, or even clatter on the laminate. Maybe that waitress, what was her name, wasn't crazy after all. Maybe she was some sort of fortune teller; maybe she had demon blood in her, kind of like Sam in a way. The dark wings slowly faded away and the lights slowly went on; making me want to see him, kiss him, touch him. The angel grinned and I became confused, it wasn't Cas at all, but the waitress that I made-out with. She tugged off the hat and her flowing golden curls fell to her waist scanning the room. "Hello boys", she spoke slowly and walked closer to me her eyes flickering with mischief. About half-way to me she dropped the coat, Cas' coat, shifting her gaze to Sam and then staring into my eyes. Her gaze never left mine even though I could tell she was talking to Sam. I just made out "go" and Sam fled. She smirked and snapped her fingers, making the door lock and close behind Sammy. "Dean", her light voice was unusually rough as she slowly straddled me in the chair. Was this Cas? If it is I want this I really do want whatever is going to happen. But if this girl is possessed or insane I, I can't. But she walked through the salt line. But she knew my name. She dressed like this for a reason though. I'm going to do it; I'm going to take that chance. She laughed suddenly, a laugh of an angel, a laugh like pealing bells. She settled into my laugh and wrapped her arms around me, making me still and frozen. I was on edge this might not be Cas. As if reading my mind she leaned into my neck and breathed for a moment. "It's always been me Dean", she whispered and trailed the line of hairs on my neck, making them stand up and me to shudder involuntarily. It's him, I mean her. We crashed into each other, making warmth spread through us again. She grinded her hips into mine, making pleasure shoot to my spine and a moan exit my mouth. She tore away and hissed, laughing. I thought I did something wrong but she looked at me with the gaze, a gaze of pure lust. "Whoa there boy, that was just round one", she spoke.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

CPOV

I grinned and when I leaned in again, Sam bust through the door. It made me jump off Dean immediately and for Dean to flinch. I stared at Sam and missed the feeling of Dean's hips and lips, making me suppress a whine. "Dammit Sam", Dean growled and I laughed, looking Sam up and down again. His hair was a mess, hickeys up and down his skin and peeking out of his collar, and his shirt and pants wrinkled. I looked at Sam's face and it was a grinning/shocked expression on his face. I ran to him and hugged him, making Sam's air knocked out of his lungs and for Dean to growl. I looked back at Dean and I rolled my eyes, hugging Sam even tighter. "I missed you guys", I said and released Sam, seeing him looking confused and shocked. He was at least a foot taller than me, making the height difference odd from the usual difference of height. "Hello Sam", I said grinning up at him and wanted to hug him again. He looked skeptically at me and then at Dean, his hand sifting awkwardly in his pockets. "Castiel", he asked and I nodded, grinning brightly now. Both of my boys where here and safe, and that's all that I wanted. I sighed and looked at them both, my gaze on Dean lingering slightly, just excited. "So guys, what is are next hunt", I asked putting my hands in my pockets and shifting my weight, looking down shyly. "No", Dean said firmly and Sam and I stared at Dean. "Why the hell not", I asked boldly and strode to him. He looked surprised and I smirked to myself, a different vessel a different angel. "You got killed last time Cas", he screamed jumping up from his seat scowling at me. Sam cleared his throat and we glared at him, and I realized what I did. "Oh god Sam, Dean, you guys are right. I... I'm so sorry", I said and left the room abruptly.

DPOV

She smiled a beautiful smile and leaned in to me again, making a weird sensation of giddiness and nervousness run through me. The door burst open and Cas leapt off me, making me want to groan at lost contact. I flinched a little and saw that Sam came home, making me want to shove him out and continue doing whatever we were about to do. "Dammit Sam", I said annoyed at my cock-blocking brother. Castiel laughed her laugh of bells and I wanted to grab her and continue kissing and loving her. I finally studied Sammy and I stifled a laugh, the guy totally got laid. The girl was totally the dominant type by the ways she left Sam, making me want to laugh again. He looked both shocked and happy; the side effects of him getting laid had still not worn off. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I see Cas sprinting, surprising Sammy and myself. She wrapped him up in an embrace and made a "puff" sound come out of his mouth. She squeezed him and I snarled when he kind of hugged back,_ mine_ I thought looking at Cas. Sam looked at me the same time Cas did, Sammy looked scared and Castiel looked annoyed. She squeezed even tighter making me mad. "I missed you guys", she said quietly and finally let go of Sam. She looked him up and down before she spoke, as if to taunt me. "Hello Sam", her angelic voice finally said and I could see the tension between them, something I didn't understand. He looked at her and then me, my eyes threatening him to keep his distance. He put his hands in his pockets and I eased slightly, he couldn't touch her now. "Castiel", he asked and she nodded briskly. There was an awkward pause and she looked around. "So, guys, what is are next hunt", she asked as if to break the ice and I saw red. No, no, no; I can't lose her again. Sam and Cas looked at me, Sammy with confusion and Cas with anger. "Why the hell not", she asked boldly and appeared right in my face. She surprised me, the old Cas wasn't like this. She smirked and I regained my bearings. "You got killed last time Cas", I screamed jumping up from my seat and scowling at her. She will not leave me. Sam cleared his throat and we glared at him, and my tension easing when I saw Sammy. "Oh god Sam, Dean, you guys are right. I... I'm so sorry", Castiel said and left the room, going into the bathroom.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9

CPOV

In all seriousness I had no idea where I was going, I just knew I needed to get out of there. I opened the first door I saw and locked it, curling my new petite vessel in a ball. I didn't want to lose Dean again, not ever; not even thinking about Sam or where the hell I was at the moment, just remembering the sharp pain of my side and Dean telling me to fight. I didn't even fight, I just let go. I took off my heels and pulled my sandy hair out of my face, looking at my face. I didn't even realize that I was crying, my old eye makeup that I couldn't clean up ran down to my cheeks. My eyes were the same, but bright red rims surrounded them making me look splotchy and unattractive. Other than that I looked fine, my vessel became more familiar to me and so did everything else. I looked at my eye makeup again and something flashed in my mind.

_No one understands; I don't know how to deal with him, with me or with anything right now. My face was slightly younger; I had dark under my eyes and black tears running down my face, like I've just had moments ago. "CAS", Bree's voice yelled, it was a little higher. She couldn't get to me I locked the door. I looked in the shower, looking for my relief that helped me deal with this. I grabbed my pink razor and just let go, crying in grief of my situation. I didn't realize what happened till after; making me hit the tile floor. "CAS", the door slammed open and everything blacked out. I smiled slightly to myself, I was free. I was free from this life, from him. Even when I felt so warm, coldness was sucked was sucked in my bones. "No, no, no. Cas! Cas", Bree's voice slowly faded away from me._

"Cas, Cas", Dean screamed and I looked up. Dean was standing there looking scared and worried; his eyes showed that he was also shocked along with the scattering emotions on his face. The door was most likely kicked open by Dean, Sam was on the outskirts of all of this looking at me in hurt. I was shaking; the cold tile of the motel bathroom was on my bare feet and on my tight jeans, like when this awful vision made me sink down onto the floor. I don't know where my control was lost but I just started crying, staying in the place I've been for too long. Dean sunk down with his brother, looking like he had no idea what the hell to do. Sam just comforted, hugging me lovingly. Dean growled slightly and I laughed, whipping my eyes and tried to get up. "Let's go to a party".

DPOV

I watched her slam the door and lock it, making me want to laugh; we could open that door in seconds. Sam hit me on the shoulder, making turn toward him in defense. "Don't you dare laugh at her", he growled and I looked up at him in surprise. I laughed slightly and popped my neck "What she your girlfriend Bitch?" I mocked him and he hit me again. "No, because you are too protective of her Jerk, but I do care about Castiel", he said and I immediately calmed down. "Dean, I still sense there is something wrong with her", Sammy whispered watching the door warily. I just shrugged; I didn't really notice anything except for Cas being Cas. From outside the bathroom door, I heard a slight sniffed, followed by a few breathy gasps. "God Dammit Dean, you made the girl cry", Sam yelled punching me. "Hey", I yelled back, taking a few steps backward "I was just trying to keep her safe. You want her dead fine! But I love her". I swung at him and he blocked it, narrowly missing my jaw. The slight breathy gasp turned into a whimper and then a scream. "Cas", we screamed and ran to the door. "Castiel! Castiel, are you ok", Sammy asked trying to turn the door. I gave him a lock pick and anxiously grabbed a random gun that was closest to me. "Dean it won't work", he said and I threw him the gun. "Cas. Back away from the door", I said and backed up. I kicked the door in and braced myself for anything. I looked around the room, no signs of anything tormenting her. I looked for her and there she was, crumbled in the right corner near the mirror and sink. Her eyes were clouded and her mascara ran down her cheeks. Her hair was falling out of her pony-tail and her high heels were thrown about somewhere. "Cas. Cas", I screamed and tried to snap her out of it. I heard Sam's gun clatter and saw Castiel's eyes clear. She was shaking and scanned the room, us, even herself. She didn't know where she was or how she got on the floor. She started crying again in uncontrollable amounts, as if she had been holding it all in. I crouched down and Sam did too, not knowing what to do. Sam just reached out and soothed her, hugging her. I growled, not remembering our talk, and that made her laugh. She wiped her eyes and looked at the both of us. " Let's go to a party".

* * *

><p>Author's Note<p>

Hey guys, again sorry for the late updates from my story. Hopefully this longer chapter will make it up. In the next chapter we meet Bree and a new character. P.s all the new characters so far will not be in the Supernatural series, but you never know I could be persuaded. Thank-you for reading. ~Alexis


	11. Chapter 11

Hello Everyone, again I'm sorry I'm late on chapters but I've had some "family obligations". To make up for the long wait, I have made my longest chapter. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

CPOV

The looked at me like I was crazy, frozen like statues on the floor. I laughed and got up from the cold tile, "I'm serious, now. Go". I pointed at the door and they lingered, searching my face for something. I stared at them with a no-nonsense-mom glare and the headed out immediately, Dean lingering at bit longer.

We went to the party after I practically dragged them both out the motel room. I also took the liberty of a change of clothes for all of us just in case the party got out of hand. I stuffed the big bundle of clothes in my purse and went in front of them, leading Sam and Dean to the rave. The hosts of the party were people I "knew", Charlie and Hannah Martin, and Bree had said that we could go. Oh god, Bree, I wonder if she's ok. After a few shots of tequila and one beer she's on the ground, literally, like she's one of those girls that get super flexible when drunk off their ass. I laughed and continued walking down a sketchy side-walk with graffiti, I didn't ask Sam or Dean to drive the Impala just in case all of us had too much. The Martin's were huge fans of alcohol and I didn't want to die again, so we had to walk a few blocks. I had a strong urge to grab Dean's hand and lead him, but Sam was there. "Um…Cas, where the hell are you taking us", Sam said after our third block into an ally. "We are almost there", I sing-songed and skipped when I heard soft music of the party, making Dean to laugh and for Sam to sigh lightly. "Cas, is your vessel in college", Dean laughed and I heard Sam slap him. "That's not exactly a good thing Dean", Sam screeched and I laughed. "Worry not Winchesters", I said turning around to face them "we are partying with people in their mid-twenties". I winked and slowed down so I could walk with the brothers, the height difference odd even in my heels. Dean wore two shirts, one a white tank-top and the other gray, and a bandana wrapped around his bicep. Sam wore a cotton white tee shirt and a bandana around his head. I linked my arms with the boys when the music got louder, we were close. "Comon' Guys", I laughed and ran to a locked door. A large man with ridiculous shades flanked the door, making me want to laugh. He took off his sunglasses to look at us, laughter in his eyes. "Names", he said expectantly and I immediately wanted to punch him. "Castellan Mark", I spat glaring at him "and friends". His eyes widened as he checked the list and I grinned when he fumbled with his key. I looked back at them and they looked surprised and impressed, making me grin even more.

When we got inside the music was much louder, the base thumping in my ears like a heartbeat, making hearing anything else almost impossible. The black lights were on making our white shirts glow and the strobe lights were slightly bearable in the otherwise dark room. My nostrils burned with the smell of alcohol, sweat, faint sex; definitely a Martin party. "Who are these people again", Dean screamed over the music and I looked around trying to find them. Suddenly Sam's eyes widened and he looked around nervously. "Um. Gotta go", he screamed and ran in that direction. We rolled are eyes making us both laugh, me finding a dim lighted bar. "Come mon' Winchester, I need a drink". All that the bar had was crappy beer and experimental mixed drinks, college my vessel remembers.

"Damn Dean", I said as he finished his third beer, throwing it in a splattered paint trash can. He was slightly only tipsy. "How the hell are you not flat off your ass". "Practice Cas", he laughed and I finished my rum and coke, looking around for Sam. "Um... Dean. Where the hell is your brother"? His eyes widened and I nodded "Let's split up".

DPOV

I could hardly get changed without Cas threatening to come in there and change me herself. I didn't exactly mind the idea so I started going even slower, putting on my shirts with care. "It's a rave", she yelled "not that hard to find something to wear". I smirked and leaned against my door. "God Dammit Dean, if you don't get dressed right now we will take you to the party **nude".** I widened my eyes and zipped my pants up, opening my door to Cas. She crossed her arms and nodded coming in and grapping two shirts. "Let's go guys".

Her hair was in a ponytail, swinging as she walked down the sidewalk in front of us. She was dressed like us, her white tank top was see-through and bandana was tied like a ribbon in her hair. Her hand kept on twitching towards me, as if to reach for something. When we walked down a sketchy-block, Sam said something. I didn't really pay attention, I was too busy looking at Cas and studying in general. Her hips swayed in a dance like manner when she walked, making her even more graceful that possible. I heard music, a medium sound getting louder and louder as we walked. I shook my head as I put together the facts laughing at my luck. "Cas is your vessel in college", I laughed and Sam slapped me in the arm "That's not exactly a good thing Dean", Sam screeched and I rolled my eyes. "Worry not Winchesters", she said turning around to face us "we are partying with people in their mid-twenties". She winked and slowed down so we could catch up to her. She linked elbows with us and I felt her warmth, kind and comforting. "Comon' Guys", she laughed and ran to a locked door, dragging Sammy and I along with her. Flanking the door was a ridiculous, muscle man with shades to match. He took off the shades and had laughter in his eyes, making me want to scoff. "Names", he said expectantly and I immediately wanted to punch him. "Castellan Mark", Castiel spat glaring at him "and friends". His eyes widened as he checked the list and I grinned when he fumbled with his key. She looked back at us and I was shocked at her audacity. She smiled and the man unlocked the door.

When we got inside the music was much louder, the base thumping in my ears like a heartbeat, making hearing anything else almost impossible. The black lights were on making our white shirts glow and the strobe lights were slightly bearable in the otherwise dark room. My nostrils burned with the smell of alcohol, sweat, faint sex; reminding me of several one-night stands. "Who are these people again", I screamed over the music and she looked around. Suddenly Sammy's eyes widened and he looked around nervously. "Um. Gotta go", he screamed and ran in that direction. We rolled are eyes making us both laugh, us finding a dim lighted bar. "Come mon' Winchester, I need a drink", Cas said and dragged me to the bar. All that the bar had was crappy beer and experimental mixed drinks, the definition of college and stomach-pumps.

"Damn Dean", she said as I finished my third beer, throwing it in a splattered paint trash can. I was a little tipsy. "How the hell are you not flat off your ass". "Practice Cas", I laughed and Cas finished her weak rum and coke, looking around. "Um... Dean. Where the hell is your brother"? My eyes widened, I forgot about Sam! She nodded, "Let's split up".


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

CPOV

"Sam! God, Sam Winchester, where the hell are you", I screamed and went out through the back exit. I sighed when I couldn't see the gigantic man in a shady back ally. I looked around again and I mostly saw trash and graffiti, admiring the bright colors and art in the brick wall. The dumpster was green and also had art all around it, names and gang-symbols written all over the rim. I rolled my eyes and turned my heel, heading back to the party. Right as I was about to open the door, a soft banging emitted behind me, making me tense at the noise and turn around. This area was really shady and gangs were known to hang out here. "H…Hello", I said softly and looked around again. Soft giggling left the dumpster and I really wanted to laugh in relief, no one would try killing me right now. I walked timidly to the trashcan, expecting a hobo and booze in the can, and went on my toes peering over the rim. Instead of an old man making love to a bottle, I found Bree. Bree in a short, white flared dress and kitten strappy heels; her crazy hair splayed all over the trash and face. "CAS", she laughed and reached for me like a toddler wanting to get picked up. I laughed softly and shook my head, pushing the stray hairs out of my face. "Hello Bree, how's it going", I asked and grabbed her hand. She nodded and tried to get up, looking around herself. "Why the hell am I in a trash-can", she slurred and held her head in her hands. I shook my head and lifted her body out of the trash.

"God, Bree, did you throw-up in there", I asked smelling her breath when I dropped her on her feet. She shrugged and held onto my shoulder to get off her heels. She wobbled slightly when she walked so I held her shoulder and stirred her in the right direction. "Han", I yelled and one of the hostesses went to me quickly "You know the drill, water and take her home". She nodded and I patted Bree on the back "See yah later pal".

I found Dean and Sam quickly afterward, Sam looking nervous and Dean with a devious grin. "What did I miss boys", I asked skeptically. "Nothing Cas", Sam said quickly and pushed Dean on me "You guys dance". I shrugged at the weirdness and boldly grabbed his hand, leading him to the dance floor.

I learned several new dances and laughed when I messed up the steps, squeezing Dean's hand for reassurance. I looked around and saw that several of the girls were all up on their dates, grinding and making-out of the floor. I grinned at Dean and heard the song that I loved, whipping my hair and dropping on the floor and coming back to face Dean. He looked shocked and I smiled. "She used to be a dancer", I explained and kicked, my leg going farther up than most people. His eyes widened with mischief and I turned around to face away from him. I rolled and rocked my hips in a silent question, he answering in perfect timing. He gripped my hips and we too began becoming a part of the couples, dirty dancing for the rest of the song.

The song ended and I laughed, turning my head to Dean. I felt lips on mine suddenly, making my eyes widen and look at who it was. When turning my head, somehow Dean and I kissed. I pulled off and murmured the usual awkward apologies and got off him. He smiled and shook his head, pulling me closer to him. I grinned and we kissed again, this time not caring at all.

DPOV

Cas went out the back to try to find Sam so I went through the party trying to find the big freak that was my brother. "Sam! Sammy", I yelled over the music and wandered in the crowds aimlessly for Sammy. While looking for my little bro I saw a girl with a pixie cut do a keg stand, making me laugh when afterward she kissed a red-headed girl.

I looked around at everyone and still couldn't find him, going full circle to the bar. "One beer please", I asked the bartender and gave him a five. He nodded and gave me a cheap-ass beer and a wink. "Hey um, have you seen this really tall dude. Like 6' 4'' give or take", I asked him running my hand through my hair. The guy nodded and motioned with his head to my right.

I turned to see my brother getting straddled by this chick, complete with them making-out and her grinding on top of him. "Sam", I screamed and the girl stopped looking over at me, Sam's eyes widening but not looking at me. The girl laughed and wiped the saliva off her lips with her thumb, climbing off of him. She swaggered over to me confidently, holding out her hand firmly. "You must be Dean", she said and grabbed my hand, shaking it twice "Daniella Rider, but friends call me Danny". I looked over at Sam and then at her, this girl was the dom from last night. I laughed and shook her hand again "Nice to meet you Danny, I see you have come situated with Sammy". Sam groaned and I laughed, clasping his shoulder and patting his back. I must say he picked a good one, her hair was curly and a gold headband wrapped around her forehead. She wore a white flowly shirt and black leather pants, yep totally a dom sign. Danny looked around and sighed "Awkward, see you later Sam. Nice to meet you, Dean".

When she left Sam punched me in the shoulder making me grin. Sammy was blushing and I pushed him slightly. "Damitt Dean", he whined and ran a hand through his ungodly hair "I actually like her". I scoffed and put a hand on his shoulder, "She's just like me Sam. You know it's true". He grumbled and Cas appeared in-front of us. "What did I miss boys", She asked skeptically. "Nothing Cas", Sam said quickly and pushed me into Cas. "You guys dance". She shrugged at us and grabbed my hand, leading me to the dance floor.

Cas seemed to not know a lot of the dances so I taught her most of them, always holding her hand and she would squeeze mine when she messed up. She looked around shyly and her eyes widened at the sight of the girls and boys grinding on their dates. A fast almost cha cha song came on and she grinned whipping her hair and quickly squatting on the ground, slowly coming up while looking me in the eyes. I wasn't expecting that from her and she smiled again. "She used to be a dancer", Castiel explained and quickly kicked up her leg gracefully. My eyes widened what all I could do with that flexibility. She turned away and swayed and rolled her hips, pulling me into her. I grabbed her hips and joined her, becoming a part of the couples around us.

The song ended and Cas laughed, turning her head to me. I felt lips on mine suddenly, and  
>I closed my eyes on instinct. Cas pulled off and I felt like a part of me was gone, Castiel murmuring the usual awkward apologies and got off me. I smiled and shook my head, pulling her closer to me. She grinned and we kissed again, this time not caring at all.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

CPOV

"YES! OH YES! COME ON". "God Cas, so close". "ALMOST THERE! YES", I screamed as I beat Dean in some racing game. I chuckled when Dean threw the controller on the ground; he was such a sore loser. It was the morning after the rave, we never talked about the kiss but it was defiantly an elephant in the room. "GOD", Sam screamed "you guys sound like you were having sex in the living room". I looked to see him have a shocked expression, looking us up and down for nudity or even the slightest chance. "Nah", I said putting my hands in my pockets "just playing some video game. Wanna take my spot? Dean over here is such a sore loser". Dean grumbled and bumped me lightly, making me laugh. I gave the controller to Sam and walked aimlessly around. I found myself in the kitchen and spotted the papers on the table. "Hey guys, I'm joining you on the Wendigo hunt", I yelled and scoured the kitchen for cooking supplies. The loud noises of the video-game stopped, a feeling of eeriness crept over me. "WHAT", Dean and Sam yelled and rushed over to me. I grabbed a knife from one of the drawers and backed into the counter right as they got to the kitchen. Dean scoffed when he saw me, he a huge ego about stuff like this. Sam held up his hands, quickly slapping Dean in the process. "Castiel, what are you doing", Sam asked skeptically moving slowly towards me. "I'm going to the hunt", I said firmly. Dean rolled his eyes, taking a further step towards me. "Please Cas, put the knife down before you hurt yourself", Dean's tone was scolding, as if talking to a misbehaving child. I raised an eyebrow but didn't move, the bastard would have to come closer. "Jackass", I muttered, twirling the knife in my hand. Sam looked at us both and stepped back, watching from the sidelines. "I'm sorry what was that", Dean came close and my hand itched, just a few more steps. I swung the knife in my hand and straightened my posture; I wanted to tell him, full on. "I SAID you're a jackass. I'm NOT a prissy little girl, and I am certainly NOT your bitch". He barreled another two steps and I pounced, grabbing his arm and twisting it. I pushed him down to his knees and quickly put the knife to his throat. I made a disgusted sound and threw the knife down, letting go of his wrist. "I can handle myself", I said smirking to Sam. Catching me off guard, Dean grabbed my own wrist and pinned me down on the hard tile floor, straddling me with the knife in his hand. He smirked and I scowled. "God, just have sex already", Sam sighed taking in Dean straddling me "the sexual tension in this room is enough to choke me". I looked up at Sam with a sarcastic look and gave Dean my hand. "Bitch", he said lightly, a banter he usually did with Sam. He pulled me to my feet and gave me back the knife. "Ass", I retorted putting the knife in a random drawer. Sam looked at us both awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. "I guess she's going on the hunt Dean". I cheered in victory and Dean groaned his hand trapped in his hair. I hugged Sam and cheered again, going to one of the rooms.

Dean came into the room surprising me; I was dancing in the random room to some crap-happy pop music and jumping to the beat of the music. I slid into my split when I heard the line get down and looked up at the sudden gasp in the room. Dean was hanging in the doorway, his jaw slack as he watched the ease of my flexibility. I scrambled up and brushed imaginary imperfections away. "Dean... I um. ..I was just. Why are you here", my voice was wonky and stutterery. "Fuck Cas, this is my room remember", his voice was rough with need. My eyes popped open even wider as I saw all the signs of Dean. "Don't worry though Cas… It's good to know". _To Be Continued…._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

He kissed my neck, making me moan and grasp his wild mess of hair."Your distracting me" I breathed and panted when Dean's hands began massaging my hips. "But you like it", he grinned against my pulse.

I laughed and Dean then sucked on my pulse, making me pant and squeak when his fingers multitasked , one squeezing my thigh and the other still needing the soft skin that was wrapping my bones and muscles. It was amazing and strange and scary all at once, I wasn't sure what to feel. I didn't feel like the clueless, antisocial, awkward Castiel. I felt like my vessel, I was confident and sexy, I was Castellan Mark.

When Dean's hands drifted slightly to my shirt and I glupped, something came and something fled. He trapped the hem quickly and I froze, an odd fear flew and spread inside me like liquid. Castellan was gone and my weird, awkward self had filled the empty space. I slightly crumbled into myself,what if he didn't like what he sees? "Hey" he whispered in my ear and I tensed "look at me Cas". I turned to face him and he smiled, making me smile back shyly. He took my hand and played with my life line. "What happened to your confident vessel Cas" he asked and rubbed my hand.

I sighed and tugged my hand out of his grip, going down to my shirt. I took my shirt in my hand and played with the material, looking down and finding the confidence to speak. "I...I don't know Dean", I stuttered and glupped, the saliva building in my mouth " I suppose I haven't improved". He grabbed my chin and pulled me to look at him, his gaze smoldering. "I like you Cas, all of you" his voice cracked in struggle "I...I know I don't show it but I don't like being vulnerable". I smiled and continued to feel the silk. "Do you miss my vessel" I asked tentatively, looking into is his emerald eyes.

His eyes showed sadness and looked at my hair, shifting quickly to my face. I nodded and looked away, almost in tears. "It was hard to get used to"he admitted and I bit my lip "but I felt like you, Castiel Noviak,was lost". I looked up to see him awkwardly standing there, his hands stuffed in his hands, he seemed like he didn't like being uncomfortable."You were confident, it was a nice change. But know that I love you, all of you". I grinned and shifted my weight every so often.

"I love you too Dean". Dean licked his lips, a habit he was unconscious of. I had no idea that something like an old habit could fill me with so much, love and unknown want. I bit my lip and studied him, entwining my fingers behind my back. A tinkling sound went off and Dean checked his phone. He was surprised by the girlie ringtone, but scrolled through the phone. " There's someone named Bree... Do I know a Bree", his voice was confused and he ran a hand through his hair.

To save him the strain to remember all the girls he hooked up with, I interjected. "My... Well my vessel's old friend", I explained tentatively, almost unsure to take the phone. "Well", Dean sighed and laughed slightly " I thought Sam was a cockblock". I cleared my throat and tried to open the text with shaky hands.

It read, Cast! _Heyyy, so Han saw you with these boys. You doing that stuff now, hey I don't judge. Wanna bring your boy toys and go to my house. I want to meet these fellas. Xoxo, Bree_. My hands shook as I read the text. So my vessel was a idiotic, bi-curious, typical white girl that parties. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed, knowing I would have to act like Castellan Mark for another day. She was the anti-cas, she was cool and confident party girl. I'm an antisocial, awkward, shy angel. Bree, a girl I hardly knew, was not letting me slip away. I sighed and looked at Dean. "We will have to discuss the Wendigo hunt, or whatever else we were doing another time", I said sighing "get Sam. We have to pretend to be polygamists".


	15. Chapter 15

"I'm sorry", Sam paced around the room while I put on her impractical wedges on my dainty feet, some of the nail polish from the coma was still there on my toenails "but we have to give this up, A WENDIGO, in Montana to pretend to be Cas... No I mean Castellan's boyfriends". I sighed rubbing my hands, looking over at Dean. It was only noon, but he was plopped down on the couch with a beer in his hand and a stressed look on his face. "Sam," I stated, my gaze fixed on him now "I too want to go on this hunt, but if we get this over with we can get out of this motel. We can leave this town and everything in it". Sam sighed, his hair a mess and his eyes conflicted." No, I'm sorry, but no".

" Sammy, we kinda have to go, this chick won't let us leave without meeting her..er us", Dean got up of the couch and stood next to me. I would have felt his presence even if I hadn't been looking at him, a warmth was spread through me and I felt an odd calming feeling. Sam grumbled and I smiled a small smile when I realized he caved. "OK fine, but we leave right after the visit", Sam crossed his arms and I nodded, I already had a duffle bag from leaving Bree's apartment, I was ready for the long car ride to Montana. I slipped on my coat and carried the bag into the back of the Impala, making room for my body to fit comfortably back there, and slipped in the back.

Being smaller had it's advantages, for once I wasn't so cramped in the Impala, and Sam could comfortably sit in the passenger seat. Like usual car rides, Dean blared some rock song and Sam studied the book he was currently holding in his hands. I stretched out in the backseat,not trying to avoid the luggage, absently fiddling with my hair. I looked at Dean in the mirror and he winked, making me blush and look away, my gaze lingering hearing Sam chuckle. " Eye sex again", Sam sighed and I laughed lightly "I thought you guys were over that". I tried to lie down but winced, the hard door hurting my back. Dean started to steer with his knee, taking off his jacket. He threw it behind him and I caught it. I smiled in the mirror and tried to get comfortable. I placed the jacket as a pillow and smiled when it smelled like Dean.

_**God yes please! Dean smirked, kissing my abdomen. " That's right baby", he purred his hands trailing behind his lips "let me hear you". I let a whiney sound come out of my mouth and his lips curved into a full blown smile. He kissed the dip in me stomach and it made my back arch, a breathy gasp escaping from my lips. His hands gliding and the rough calluses rubbing my skin, the contrast amazing and nothing short of mind blowing. I bit my lip and he pulled it free, kissing me softly. He cupped my... There and I gasped, Dean's tongue slipping into my mouth. He grinned and I stopped, I had no idea what I was doing. I pulled away and he nipped and licked my neck. " Stop, please", I said "Can we slow down right now". Dean pulled away and I saw him, the scene was once warm became cold and bitter. " Why", he asked, his voice slimey "you liked this when he did it". He ripped the denim of my jeans, leaving me in my underwear. "No, please stop", I whined and he... He just did it. I cried out, pain, so much pain. I didn't know why I didn't move but, I couldn't. "You're a bitch", he spat in my face continuing what he was doing " A fucking slut no one will love. You cheated, you are a worthless whore". I was crying and telling him to stop. "I didn't do anything", I was sobbing and he stopped suddenly, pulling out. There was blood, and still he continued to masterbate until he finished. " I don't want children". I crumpled into myself and he left.** _

"CAS", I woke up and Sam was there with Dean. My knees were pressed against my chest, my face wet. I relaxed slightly, sobs still racking my chest. "Where are we", I tried getting out and they were there, anxious and cautious. I looked around to see the highway, they had pulled over. My legs were weak and even though I cannot feel pain I allowed the ache, wiping my eyes and holding on to the boys for support. They both asked a question with their eyes and I tried my best to answer them. "My vessel is... I think there is something wrong with her". Dean's eyes were hard, Sam's understanding and worried.

" Cas do you still have your grace", Sam was studying me and I hated the spot light. I just stared at him, I had not even tried that since my vessel died. I closed my eyes and tried, opening them just as fast as I closed them. There we were at the shitty apartment my vessel lived in's garage, and memories that weren't mine flooded in. Parties, the morning after, so many vodka tonics, warmth, but also terrible cold memories. Sam squeezed my shoulder, a silent good job. Dean smiled slightly but looked around, his eyes crinkled and brow furrowing. "Where's my baby" Dean was worrying too much and i calmed him down, making the engine roar loudly. He turned behind him and sighed, rubbing the Impala's hood lovingly. "Park the car Dean, Sam and I will go up". He looked at me in worry, but he shrugged it off. He twirled his car keys in his hands and tried to find a safe part to park.


End file.
